Days

135: number of days since my last drink

98: days since finding out I was pregnant again

Yep. And quite unexpectedly considering that, after the miscarriage in February, I started on birth control again. 🤷🏻‍♀️ #fertilemyrtle

This pregnancy has taken me by storm. I had just started losing weight again (20 lbs, actually). I had started my fasting lifestyle and was in love with it. And now, it’s all on hold again. I’m almost 18 weeks now and I haven’t gained a single pound, so I’m pretty proud of that. But that doesn’t mean I’m happy. I’m so upset about my body, about how it’s changing again, how I was finally ready to take back the control that I had lost. I’ve had a very difficult time accepting these facts.

On the other end, I’m having another baby! And I’m SO happy! I miss the baby snuggles and smiles and coos. I don’t miss the sleepless nights and colic. And I’m scared of how the other kids will handle this huge change in our house. How the dynamic will change once someone else needs mommy’s attention so much. As an only child, this is very unfamiliar territory for me.

I’m trying to get much more active these days as I’m at high risk of developing gestational diabetes this time around. Not really something I wanna deal with but I’m borderline.

For now, I’m just trying to take things day by day. The kids joint party is this weekend and I’m super excited about that (so are they). And, as a result, our back garden has never looked better! Hubs has been busting ass making it the paradise I want and I couldn’t be more thankful.

And somehow, this little peanut is now THREE!

And THIS nugget will be 4 in a few short weeks!

Where the actual fck does time go?!

Advertisements

Baked Mozzies

I don’t know that I’ve ever met a person on this earth that doesn’t like mozzarella sticks. Sure, we all have our favorites. But come on. Mozzarella sticks are sent from above. 🙌🏻

And these are my own take on them. Crispy. Baked. Delicious. They didn’t last more than a few minutes on the table served with a side of marinara.

While the oven preheated to 400F, I assembled my work station. I opened each string cheese, got a small bowl of water, a small bowl of EVOO, my brush, garlic powder, and egg roll wrappers.

I placed one wrapper down and lightly brushed the whole thing with water (water makes the surface of these sticky). Then I sprinkled garlic powder over the whole thing (start with a small amount until you know if more or less is best).

Next, lie the cheese stick across the wrapper at the bottom corner and fold the corner over the cheese.

Then get to rolling! But stop when the cheese is half way up.

At this point, I just took a small drop of water and wet the wrapper over the cheese so it would stick better. Then fold over each end and roll the rest of the way.

After that, I thoroughly oiled a baking sheet and set each stick down. Then took my brush and liberally oiled the tops of each to ensure maximum crispiness.

Pop em in the oven for about 5 minutes, then I flipped them (my first try, I didn’t flip them and they didn’t crisp up quite as well or evenly). Another 5 minutes or until you see tiny bubbles of cheesy goodness oozing out of the sides. Serve with a side of marinara and boom 💥

10/10 will make again. I really love the garlic powder because it gave the cheese a great added flavor.

Ingredients

  • Mozzarella cheese sticks
  • Garlic powder
  • Egg roll wrappers
  • Olive oil
  • Water

Directions

  • Preheat oven to 400F
  • Lie one wrapper out and lightly brush with water (to make sticky)
  • Lightly sprinkle garlic powder over entire wrapper
  • Lie cheese stick across bottom and roll corner over center of cheese
  • Roll up the cheese halfway and wet the wrapper
  • Fold each side over the cheese stick and continue rolling
  • Oil baking sheet and place each stick side by side
  • Brush oil over tops of each stick
  • Bake for 5 minutes and flip, bake an additional 5 minutes (or until Cheese begins to bubble out)
  • Serve with side of marinara

Tiny Taco Cups!

These were divine. I seriously can’t get enough. I’m a fan of miniature versions of my favorite foods (as if that wasn’t obvious yet), apnd these did not disappoint.

I started with a muffin tin and some left over wonton wrappers.

Then I filled each one with (cooked) taco meat of choice. I always do shredded chicken for my tacos, but that’s totally a personal preference. Ground beef/turkey/chicken would all work equally well.

Then it’s as simple as layering on some toppings! I did tomato, mozzarella, and some taco sauce.

Then tossed it into the 375F preheated oven and let them hang for about 12-13 minutes (till the corners looked brown and crispy).

Once done, I added the ingredients that I didn’t want baked. I went simple with lettuce, avocado, and a tiny dab of lite sour cream.

Seriously. So good. If I had more wonton wrappers, I’d make more right now😂🙈

Ingredients

  • Wonton wrappers
  • Cooked taco meat
  • Tomato
  • Taco sauce
  • Cheese of choice (I used mozzarella)
  • Toppings of your choice (lettuce, avocado, sour cream, guacamole, etc)

Directions

  • Preheat oven to 375F
  • Spray muffin tin with nonstick spray
  • Line each spot in tin with a wonton wrapper, making a cup shape
  • Add cooked meat, tomato, and cheese
  • Bake for 12 minutes or until crisp
  • Transfer to plate and add desired taco toppings

Taking a Breather & Making Some Noms

If you’re reading this, it may be because I shared it on Facebook. Yesterday, I posted that I was deleting social media (as in from my phone, not my accounts. I’m not that tech savvy). I need a break from the constant tornadoes of stress and negativity and responsibilities. But most importantly, I need to get rid of the distractions that have been keeping me from taking care of myself.

I need space to breathe for a little bit.

Today, I got that chance. It was a nice enough day out and I got to spend most of it in the kitchen. To me, that is my stress relief. My kitchen is my kingdom and it’s been a very long time since I’ve been able to spend in there just creating, imagining, testing, writing.

First up: Wonton Pizza Bites

These were inspired by my kids and their tiny fingers (and constant need to run). They’re perfect if you like crispy, thin crust pizza and can easily be customized with your favorite pizza toppings (shown is just sauce, cheese and oregano). Pretty straight forward directions, but they came out fabulously. Would be great for a party snack, too.

Once the oven is preheated to 350F, lay out a sheet of parchment paper on a baking tray. Arrange the wontons and place a small amount of sauce on each one, more or less to taste. I’m not super huge on sauce.

Next, layer on the toppings! I just went simple with testing this one out and used mozzarella and a sprinkle of oregano. But any toppings would work.

Toss the tray into the oven for about 15 minutes, watching for the corners to curl a bit and brown. The longer, the crispier.

Ingredients

  • Wonton wrappers
  • Pizza sauce (or tomato paste or even marinara)
  • Mozzarella
  • Oregano
  • Your favorite pizza toppings
  • Marinara for dipping

Directions

  • Preheat oven to 350F
  • Place parchment paper on a baking tray and arrange wontons
  • Spread a small amount of your sauce over the wontons, leaving a small space at the edges
  • Sprinkle mozzarella on each wrapper
  • Sprinkle oregano and add any additional toppings
  • Bake for 15 minutes, or until edges curl a bit and begin to brown

Later on, I got to make fried rice for the first time ever. Yep. In all my 30 years, I’ve never once made fried rice. But I’ve been craving rice for a few weeks, so I took the opportunity to try. It was super simple and way faster than I expected!

Started by heating a couple tablespoons of vegetable oil over medium heat and added thawed carrots and peas. I just kinda let them fry until they were a bit tender.

Then I added beaten eggs to one side and let them scramble.

Stirred them up until they were well mixed.

Then added the cooked rice. This was made earlier in the day and was room temperature, though they say day old rice is actually best, so that’ll be my dinner project tomorrow.

I poured my soy sauce directly into the rice on top and then mixed well until it looked completely combined. Then just heated through.

Honestly, it was pretty damn good! I’m hoping to perfect teriyaki chicken tomorrow to add it to this.

*Note that this makes a massive serving, so cut the amounts if you only want to make a single dinners worth. I wanted to have enough for leftovers tomorrow.

Ingredients

  • 3 cups cooked rice (best of refrigerated overnight)
  • 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
  • 1-1.5 cups of frozen peas and carrots, thawed
  • 4 eggs, beaten
  • 3 tablespoons soy sauce (more or less to taste)

Directions

  • In saucepan, heat oil over medium heat
  • Add peas and carrots and fry until tender
  • Push peas and carrots to one side and pour the beaten eggs onto the other
  • Use a spatula to scramble the eggs until fluffy, then combine vegetables and eggs well
  • Add rice to the mix and pour desired soy sauce directly over
  • Mix well until heated through

Serve and enjoy! I’m really hoping the chicken comes out well tomorrow. I really enjoyed this rice!

One last thing I got to do was something I’ve been meaning to do for weeks, but never really remembered until it was too late in the day. I made a large batch of green tea! They say green tea has so many benefits if you drink it every day and I do like the taste (and the versatility since you can add so many things to change it up instantly). It’s been a nice, refreshing change from plain water today.

To anyone that’s left messages I haven’t seen on Facebook or messenger, thank you for your concern. I just need a little more me time right now. If you send me messages, I promise I will read them. ♥️

I got sunshine

It’s February and, I’m these parts, that usually means below freezing temps and lots of snow. But just recently…

Shorts, tees, and sunny skies! We had a two day fluke of 80 degree weather and those were two of the best days in a long time. The kids (and pups) spent dawn till dusk outside, I had the windows all wide open, it was beautiful.

Being outside and playing in and connecting with nature again made m start to think about wildschooling the kids. What’s that? Well, it’s “encouraging the creativity, curiosity and joy that children naturally express. For us that means:

• Child-led, inquiry based experiences and projects in lieu of a pre-determined curriculum.

• Drawing inspiration, context and opportunities for growth from every day life.

• Honoring and providing space for the hundred languages a child uses to interpret their reality.” (Excerpt from Wilder Child )

This is a very, very basic explanation and there’s honestly so much more to it. But the biggest point that grabs me is that it’s child-led and not a set curriculum in a stuffy classroom. It’s a way for kids to be able to learn in their own ways and own time. With the kids being young still and a few years out from traditional public school age, it gives us time to explore this as an option and make sure it’s what fits us well. If they want to go the homeschool route, I’ll be here. If they want to go to public school, I’ll cry a lot, but I’ll be there.

I never thought I’d be teetering with the “crunchy” side of life. But I have a basement full of cloth diapers, essential oils in the diffuser (and a few select blends in rollers), and even two bracelets (from Vibez Jewelry) made of select crystals like moonstone, rose quartz, and amethyst to attract different energies. (I don’t get paid or anything for promoting, just sharing because I ADORE these and can’t wait to order more from her)

Low carb cheesey taco “shells”

Okay, I know. “Low carb” strikes fear in the heart of many, visions of a sea of cauliflower everything takes over your nightmares. I get it. Screw that.

These are incredible. Seriously. If you’re doing low carb or any form of keto (ketosis), make these now!

I started with two small handfuls of shredded mild cheddar. I placed them in thin circles on parchment paper and tossed them into the oven at 350F.

I left them in until the edges were browning, about 10 minutes in my oven (but maybe less in yours because mine is old AF).

Then I carefully lifted them and placed them on my pre made contraption. The thicker the spoon, the better as it leaves a bigger cavity for the taco goodness to come.

After a few minutes of cooling and setting (I used this time to chop my lettuce, tomato, and avocado), it’s done!

OH EM GEE! Seriously. I couldn’t get enough! But the fact the shells are cheese made these even more filling than I imagined and, after two, I was STUFFED! Sooo worth it. Soooo good. Soooo making these again tonight.

And yes, I’ll fix my nails if I’m gonna be doing food pics again. 🤷🏻‍♀️

New life, who dis?

SO much has happened since I quit this thing. Yeesh. Shortened version:

The girl child is now three and a half omgggggggg. Boy child? He’s two and a half and I just can’t take it! How is it that time has sped up ten fold since having my babies?!

They are, hands down, the biggest challenge I’ve ever faced in my life. I end every day lying bed wondering “did I go it right? Did I do enough?” But once I look at their perfect little faces, I know I’m doing my best and I’m raising good humans. And that’s all I’ve ever wanted.

Since last posting, we’ve also moved (again). Less than a year after we bought our first house in Baltimore, we sold it and packed our lives into a few moving trucks and landed in Pennsylvania.

This place is…incredible. I’ve joined a local MOPS group (Moms of Preschoolers) and met some seriously awesome women and made some great friendships that I really hope continue to grow. I joined our local YMCA gym because it has child care and, for the first time in their lives, left them in the care of someone that is not me or my husband. The weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders watching them run off to play with the kids at MOPS and the Y. Legit cried the first few times because I was so happy, felt so free.

Oh, did I mention we’ve added to our family?

This little miss is Princess Zelda. We rescued her in January 2017 and her birthday is November 15, 2016. She’s a boxador, which is a lab/boxer mix. She’s proven to be quite a handful, but she’s so sweet. She’s pretty much become Bailey’s dog.

Home is…

It’s been quite some time since I’ve updated, so I’ve likely forgotten all I wanted to post. 😂😑 My last post was before we settled on the house, so I’ll start from there.

This moment. This was the second we got back in the car after signing the papers. It was just after all our dreams came true. 

Yep. My babies have a home

Words can’t even begin to come close to explaining how happy they are. How happy we all are. They have a huge yard with so much to explore. All the space they could ever need. Their own rooms. A home

Movin’ on up

Oh em geeeeeee it’s been forever since I posted. Cuz I suck. And I’ve been a little busy. Buying this👇🏻

And it has this👇🏻👇🏻

And settlement is July 22! The backyard is massive and has a virtual oasis of bamboo and shade trees, THREE gardens, and even a fire pit area and a pond. We’ll be having a separate shed type dwelling built in time to serve as our gym (so it won’t be inside the house and noise won’t be an issue at 4 am). This is such a huge moment for our family, you just have no idea. And I’ve been going Pinterest cuhrayzy with all the things I have planned for the place.

And can we talk about this kid?


Yeah. Him. In about two weeks…he’ll be one. One. Year. Old. What the actual fuck?! How did this even happen?! Where did my tiny baby go!?

Yeah I ain’t even sorry for the dude picture spam. This kid is amazing. He’s so full of smiles and life, you just can’t help but smile and giggle whenever he’s around. And he’s so smart! He crawled so early, walked early, he communicates and understands so much already. I was so scared when I first saw that pregnancy test. And again when I was diagnosed with ICP. But one look in this beautiful, perfect boys eyes and you just see that he was the most perfect ending to our family. My tiny little man cub, you will never cease to amazeme. 💙

Why I wear “yoga pants” and why that proves I do put myself first

There are SO many groups on Facebook. Groups for everything you can imagine. I’m a member of many ranging from local yard sale pages to homemaking pages to fitness groups. But one in particular is always talked about. The Mommy Groups. Sometimes these groups are specific in their members. For example, you’ll have the local mommy groups which are excellent for play dates and local, kid friendly activities, and even moms night out. You’ll have the fit moms group which brings together mothers who share a similar goal of fitness and health and wellbeing. Hell, there are even (sancti)mommy groups made for the sole purpose of making fun of other mommy groups. And Mommy Groups can be amazing. I’ve made some great friends in these groups, met other people going through the same nightmares I was (oh, hey, colic!). I’ve asked so many questions to more experienced mothers and received so much support and information. But one thing I absolutely cannot stand? Putting other women down

Recently, there have been many discussions about one topic in particular. Yoga pants. Yes. Fucking. Yoga. Pants. Leggings. Active wear. Whatever you want to call them. Who knew pants could cause such drama!? But one thing someone recently said really struck me. There was discussion about why women who wear these garments on a daily basis are putting themselves last. They aren’t getting dressed up enough to tackle the day. They’d be more productive in their tasks if only they wore…a pantsuit, I suppose. But here’s the thing about that. 

I wear yoga pants every single day (let’s pretend my fat ass ever does yoga). Why? Because I don’t care about myself? About my appearance? Because I’m too busy putting everyone else first, showing the stereotypical mother trait? Uh, no. Because they’re fucking comfortable. Because I have two children under the age of two- and chasing them around all day and crawling on the floor and helping a toddler make her own PB&J and bouncing a teething infant and sweeping every 4 hours and snuggling them in bed for naps and loading the dishwasher during said naps with the quickness of a ninja on speed– cannot happen in a Hilary Clinton inspired pantsuit. Can’t happen in jeans. Can’t happen in heels. Hell, in this house, we don’t even wear shoes! Life works best when you’re comfortable

And about that whole not caring part. I wear this activewear every day because I finally, for the first time in my life, care about my appearance. I’m putting myself first. I’m no longer trying to do things because society said so or some celebrity did or some fucking off their rocker Christian blogger thinks they’re made by the devil. Jeans? Yeah, those are super comfy to sit on the floor in. Heels? Yeah, the stress fractures I get in my feet once a month would definitely love how much more productive fucking heels would make me. 

They’re pants, folks. Stop trying to read into them any further than that. Life works much better when you’re comfortable. And if you really don’t like it when I wear my yoga pants every day, stop staring at my ass. Better yet, come chase me in your designer suit. We’ll see who’s more productive then. 💁🏻💋